Love = 2BU

By Nicholas de Castella

Spring Flowers-narrow

Love is a state of being in which the usual experience of separation is transcended and in its place arises an experience of oneness.

At the foundation of love is the honouring of individual truth. The most loving thing that you can do for someone is to be you and to encourage them to be them. Live your truth, tell them with an open heart (vulnerable) about your thoughts and feelings and in turn listen to, respect and respond to how they feel.

Real love is soul connection. It arises when we nakedly expose all that we are: when we come together, lucidly present with our deepest fears, hurts and longings, in a climate of open embrace of all that we are; when we commit to a journey of sharing, receiving and responding to the passionate and subtle aspects of heart-felt emotion; when we include the open-hearted and non-attacking expression of anger and sadness.

Being nice to someone is not loving them. Mostly we are nice to each other because we are protecting our own arse. We say “Oh, I don’t want to hurt them by telling the truth”. What we are actually afraid of is what will happen to us if we are truthful. We fear rejection, anger and real engagement with each other.

When we withhold our truth we betray ourselves and lose our sense of integrity. By not standing in our truth we reject ourselves. This creates feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred. Withholding is dishonest. It robs us of the chance of really meeting. Really ‘being’ in love.

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